


For Real

by val_mariuslatte



Series: For Real [1]
Category: Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M, Sexy Zone - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-09 12:36:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/val_mariuslatte/pseuds/val_mariuslatte
Summary: Shori secretly likes Sou and Sou the same, but when Sou sees Shori with a girl, his heart collapses. All he needs is a little hope.





	1. Restaurant

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fan fiction I've ever posted; not the first one I've ever written. I seriously believe in ShoriSou, so I hope you enjoy this fan fiction! This is the first chapter and you can look forward to more to come.

*Sou’s POV*  
I sigh and look up from my phone to see if he has arrived yet. Expecting to see him, I am greatly disappointed, but my disappointment is lost in the city of Tokyo. We have made arrangements to meet in a new local restaurant for lunch today since it’s our rest day from work. The restaurant seems nice and I picked us a seat outside because I know that he likes to watch cars as they drive by and make tons of comments about them. It’s an odd habit, but I guess it’s kind of cute.  
You’re probably wondering who he is. He is walking toward me with a grin spread on his face.  
“Sorry, Sou-kun,” he tells me as he sits across from me at the four-seater table. “I didn’t mean to be late. My sister was keeping me busy on the phone and she wouldn’t let me hang up.”  
“It’s okay,” I reply and take him in.  
He has common coloring: dark hair and nicely tan skin. He has some of the most pretty brown eyes and such elegant facial features. As of now, I will stop goggling over him like a schoolgirl since it’s just weird and very unlike me. I look at my hands to keep from staring at him. Then I realize my phone is still out and it’s terribly rude to be on the phone at the table, so I put it away immediately.  
“How are you?” I ask.  
“Well, you?” He replies.  
“Fine.”  
A waitress comes and brings us two cups of herbal tea I’d ordered earlier for us.  
“Thanks,” we both say at the same time.  
“Oh, look at that!” Shori, that’s his name, discreetly points at car driving by. I have no idea about anything related to its make or model, but Shori starts spurting facts about it. “It’s from the 1960s and it’s definitely a classic with such speed. See! It’s already around the corner….”  
I chuckle and sip my tea, trying to pay attention to Shori’s almost useless facts about cars.  
“I suppose I should give you a chance to say something.” Shori takes a break from rambling and sips his tea.  
I open my mouth to say something, but our waitress comes back to take our order. Shori smiles at me and tells her what he wants before it’s my turn. I order a dish of curry with some melon bread.  
“Shori-kun,” I say to get his attention since after our waitress left, he turned his attention back to the street. “I’ll let you have some of my melon bread. It’s really good.”  
“I see.” Shori says. “Is it really… sweet here? Or just a little sweet.”  
“Yes.”  
“You didn’t answer my question!” Shori reaches over and playfully hits my shoulder, unfortunately spilling half of my tea onto my lap.  
I pick the cup before anymore of it can escape and I grab the napkins from Shori’s outstretched hand.  
“Sorry!” He says and grabs some more napkins from the dispenser on the table for me while I try to dry myself.  
Both of us are red-faced, but mine was really because the tea had burned through my shorts. For some reason I had ordered hot tea at the end of summer and it’s already warm outside.  
“Are you okay?” Shori asks me as I adjust the pile of wet napkins on my side of the table from falling off the edge.  
“Yeah,” I reply.  
“Sorry.”  
“I know.” I tell him. “You’ve already apologized to me. It’s okay.”  
The waitress comes out with our food. After we thank her, we begin to eat in silence.  
Shori’s head bobs up from his plate as he stares open-mouthed at a car that drives by. It appears to be expensive and new, probably one of Shori’s favorites.  
“Are you going to go out and buy one?” I ask him because the car is parked and he is still staring.  
“What?” Shori snaps back and shakes his head. “No, that’s one of kind. I’ve never seen anything like it before, but do you see that label?” He leans forward and I look in the direction he is pointing in. “It means it’s one of kind.”  
For the next minute, Shori continues staring with his mouth open. “Close your mouth, Shori-kun. You look like a fish.” I tease him.  
“What?” Shori closes his mouth and forces himself to look away and continue scarfing down his meal.  
“Are you ready for the concert tomorrow night?” Shori asks me.  
“Yeah, I think so.” I reply. Tomorrow night is Friday and is also our last concert of our summer tour.  
About a half an hour later, we part ways after arguing over who would pay today’s bill. Shori always offers to pay, so I felt like it was my turn. I payed this time.  
I turn around and watch Shori walk the other way down the sidewalk about twenty yards away. He turns and sees me watching. I wave and he smiles and waves back before turning around again and disappearing behind the corner. A hollow feeling envelopes me, but I ignore it and keep walking.  
He doesn’t like me, I tell myself and add, he’ll never like me, just for fun.


	2. New Competition

*Shori’s POV*  
I wipe the sweat from my forehead and change out of my sparkly outfit into sweatpants and a t-shirt in my dressing room. Sexy Zone has just finished the last concert of their summer tour and I am proud to announce that we did well. I step out of my dressing room and see Fuma emerge from his room at the same time. We sit down together on a few chairs in the central backstage room as we wait for the other three members to finish changing out of their outfits so we can go out for ramen this evening in order to celebrate the end of our most recent tour.  
“You tired?” Fuma asks me. He is dressed in baggy jeans and a t-shirt.  
“A little,” I admit and cross my arms in a comfortable position. “Where exactly are you taking us?”  
Fuma is the one who offered to take us out to ramen after the concert.  
“A new place down the street.” Fuma tells me. “I saw some pretty girls there last weekend.”  
“Of course you did.” I reply.  
“Fuma-kun!” Marius comes out of his dressing room, but in a bathrobe. “What’s the best the way to clean up hairspray?”  
“You spilled my hairspray?!” Fuma stands up and marches over to Marius who leaps out of his way. “I knew I shouldn’t have let you borrow it.”  
“It’s not my fault!” Marius says as he runs out of sight in his room. “Somebody forgot to close my drawer and I let Sou-kun borrow it and he didn’t put the lid on tight enough…”  
“It’s all right,” Fuma sighs and I can’t hear the rest of their conversation.  
At the same time, Kento and Sou come out of their dressing room and sit across from me. They’re dressed casually.  
“Hey, Kento-kun, Matsushima-kun.” I greet them.  
“Hey,” Sou gives a small wave.  
Kento nods his head. “Where are the others? Are they ready yet?”  
“Marius-kun spilled Fuma-kun’s hairspray.”  
“Again?” Sou asks and looks to Marius’s dressing room where Fuma comes out and throws away a bunch of wet paper towels into a nearby trashcan.  
Fuma sits back down beside me. “That boy…” he sighs.  
A few minutes later, Marius comes out [properly dressed] and we all stand up to leave when a girl runs up to us. I thought she was a random fan, but she’s only one of the staff member’s daughters. She is a fan, just not a random fan.  
“Good concert guys!” She tells us.  
Her name is Miri Futatsa. Sometimes I have to wonder if she gets a kick following us around. Occasionally after concerts she’ll bother us like this. Of course, it’s not bothersome until she won’t leave and worst of all, she focuses her attention on me.  
“You all did well,” Miri says, but she looks at me when she says it. In response to me looking away, she smiles at me.  
“Thanks,” I mutter and we begin to walk away.  
“Shori-san,” Miri calls out and only I turn around. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”  
“I’ll catch up in a minute,” I tell the others and take a step toward her.  
“Do you want to go out to lunch some time?” Miri puts a lock of her long brown hair behind her ear.  
Oh no. This is not good. I don’t want to lead her on and make her think I like her, but I don’t to come off as rude and offend her. What if she’s only asking me to lunch because of a dare? Or to impress a friend who is a fan? If that’s the case, I’ll go ahead and give her one lunch so maybe she’ll leave me alone. Besides, I like someone else.  
“Sure.” I say, but I quickly regret it.  
“Great! We’ll talk later.” Miri bounces down the hall.  
I turn around and run as quickly as I can to the parking lot, which is pretty fast since I used to run track. When I see the other four waiting on the sidewalk I join them and Fuma leads us to the ramen stand he’s been wanting to take us.  
“What’d that girl want?” Kento asks me.  
“She asked me out to lunch.” I tell him.  
“Oh,” Kento seems to smile to himself. “Of course she’d ask you.”  
“What?”  
“You’re a ladies man, Shori-kun.” Kento winks at me.  
“Sure,” I laugh a little unsure of myself.  
A ladies man? I look to Sou to see how he reacted to the news, but he only walked faster to Marius’s side who never looked up from his conversation with Fuma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, that chapter is pretty boring, but I needed to set up Shori's POV.


	3. Notebook

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought my other chapters were kind of short, so I made this one WAY longer, but the length is kind of needed anyway. Happy reading!

*Sou’s POV*  
I slip on my tennis shoes and tie the laces into perfect bows that are so easy to complete you have to think why you couldn’t do it in the first year of grade school. Today is Sunday and only two nights ago I was with the rest of the band sitting on a bar stool eating ramen. Now I have nothing to do as I have nothing planned. We’ve been given the Sunday off, but will start planning for our next tour on Monday. Maybe I should ask one of the other band members or one of my junior friends if they want to hang out today, but since it’s such short notice I wonder if they would already have something planned.  
I take out my cell phone and text Marius. After a short two minutes he replies.

Sou: What r u doing today?  
Marius: Idk. Planning on doing something with Kento-kun^^.  
Sou: OK  
Marius: U want 2 come do something with us l8r?  
Sou: Sure  
Marius: Let’s go to the movies! I’ll bring Kento-kun. Meet us at the train station at 2 p.m. :) :) :)  
Sou: I’ll be there

Usually I reply with much longer texts, but most people don’t like having to read them, so I shorten them.  
I open my front door and leave to go to the office/studio since when I was there yesterday I forgot the sunglasses my sister gave in the beginning of the summer. She has really great taste, so losing the sunglasses the would disappoint her.  
I walk to the train station and take the ten o’clock train to downtown Tokyo before walking the rest of the way to the office.  
While signing in, the woman at the desk asks me. “Isn’t it a rest day for talents?”  
“I forgot something in the office,” I tell her. “I’ll be right out.”  
I jog to the elevator and press the button for the twenty-fifth floor and stare at the ceiling until the elevator reaches the destination. When I get there I walk to Sexy Zone’s room and peek in. Surprisingly the light is on and people are talking. Not just any people, but Shori and someone else. I open the door a little more to see Shori talking to that girl from at the end of Friday’s concert. Her name is Miri, and I don’t like her one bit. She’s constantly following Shori around; at the end of concerts, on breaks, and in the office. She’s all stuck up because her mom is a Johnny staff member, so Miri is forced to stay in the office and help her mom when she’s not studying at university. She’s my age.  
I see Miri put a hand on Shori’s shoulder and he doesn’t do anything about it. “Shori-san, what are you saying?”  
Miri is laughing at something Shori said and he’s smiling at her. Smiling at her.  
Okay, maybe I am a little jealous. But it’s not fair that she’s a girl, so she has the right to walk up to Shori and touch him and laugh at his jokes. It’s not like she really knows him, I’m one of his closest friends.  
Shori whispers something that I can’t quite make out which only makes Miri laugh even harder.  
“Shori, you’re so funny! You need to stop that!” Miri chirps.  
Shori, you’re so funny...stop that! I need to stop watching this.  
Before I can fully open the door, I hear Shori say, “You’re funny too.”  
“Am I?” Miri says and puts a finger up to her lips as if she’s trying to seduce him. “You’re cute, Shori-chan.”  
“Hehe,” Shori laughs uneasily.  
“Shori-kun?” I clear my throat that’s blocked with words I can’t say. “What are you doing here?” I avoid looking at Miri.  
I’m not jealous, but something about that Miri girl just ticks me off. I feel like sometimes I have this animal spirit inside of me.  
“Oh!” Shori perks up. “Matsushima-kun! What are you doing here?”  
I notice that Shori only calls me “Sou-kun” when we are alone and “Matsushima-kun” when we are around others. I always thought it was because Shori is reserved and kind of shy, but I’ll have to ask him about it sometime.  
“I left my sunglasses here,” I tell him. “You didn’t happen to have seen them, did you?”  
“No,” Shori replies. “Sorry, but check the table in the back.”  
“I will.” I nod before asking, “What are you doing here? With Miri-chan?”  
Reluctantly I nod and give Miri a small wave in greeting and she happily waves back. I don’t want to make her feel bad with my not taking a fondness to her.  
“Oh,” Shori answers, but starts stuttering a little. “I came to pick up my n-notebook that I left. I didn’t want the staff or janitors to r-read what it’s in it. You know how nosy the staff can be sometimes. I just happened to run into Miri-chan.”  
I eye the red spiral notebook in Shori’s hands. “What’s in the notebook?” I ask with a smirk.  
“I rather not say.” Shori tells me and I see that his cheeks are painted with a light sprinkle of pink.  
“Okay,” I conclude. “I won’t press.”  
“You just said ‘nothing’ when I asked about the notebook!” Miri complains behind me.  
As I turn around to go find my missing sunglasses I hear Shori sigh. I wonder what he could have written in that notebook and why he told me he didn’t want anyone to read it. Usually that would peak someone’s curiosity.  
On the back table, where Shori said they would be, are my glasses. I quickly snatch them up and walk towards the exit.  
“See ya’, Shori-kun,” I tell him and wave bye.  
At the same time I don’t really want to part ways with him, but I don’t want to stay and chat with Miri either.  
“Bye, Matsushima-kun,” Shori tells me back.

***

On the way back, I can’t help but ask myself if Shori actually likes Miri. There’s always the possibility that he likes her. Besides, how would I even know if he’s… into guys. You can’t really tell based on appearances. The more important question is ‘does he like me’? Or will he ever come to feel about me like how I feel about him? The more I think about Shori, the more sure I am that he will never return my feelings. Why did I have to fall in love with someone so far out of reach?  
As I board the train to take me back to the station I quickly change my unhappy thoughts to more pleasurable ones. My head fills with images of Shori saying hi to me, just standing there, brushing a strand of hair from his face, singing a high note, singing a low note, looking at me across the stage at a concert, texting me, and lastly saying good-bye to me. The new thoughts only make me sad at knowing I won’t be able to ever have what I truly want. 

***

“Hello, Sou-kun,” Marius greets me on the sidewalk outside the train station. It’s two in the afternoon.  
“Hey, Mari-kun,” I reply. “Where’s Kento-kun?”  
“He’ll be here in a minute,” Marius informs me. “He had to take his dog to the vet. It seems she’s been sick.”  
My eyes widen. “Not Bonita!”  
Marius shrugs his shoulders and Kento appears beside him. “You ready?”  
“Yeah,” Marius and I say at the same time.  
The three of us board the train and when we get off we walk to the movie theater that’s not too far. Inside we purchase popcorn and the other two buy some candy, but I didn’t want any. We take our seats in the very top row of the theater so we get the best view (and because Marius is so tall he claimed he didn’t want to block anyone’s view).  
The movie begins to play, but it seems so unimportant compared to the boy halfway across town. Every now and then the loud music or voices of the movie will arouse me from my thoughts, but for the most part I space out. Before I even know it, the movie is over and people are spilling out of their seats and towards the exit.  
“Sou-kun,” Kento speaks to me, temporarily muting the thoughts in my head. “Did you like the movie?”  
“Yeah,” I reply even though I wasn’t paying attention. “It was good.”  
“Who was your favorite character?”  
“Um…” That’s pretty hard. “I can’t decide.”  
“Oh,” Kento blinks. “I really liked Tamaka-chan. She was cute, but I also really liked the hero, Kishii-kun. What was your favorite scene?”  
We stop, waiting for the crowd to dissipate before we continue.  
I think for a moment before replying. “The ending.”  
“Really?” Kento exclaims. “I thought it could’ve ended better. Why’d you say that?”  
“Uh…” I stutter and can’t seem to think anything up.  
“Sou-kun,” Marius tilts his head and gives me a quizzical look. “What’s wrong?”  
“Eh?”  
“I was just about to ask.” Kento states and shoves his hands in his pockets.  
“Oh…” I glance down at my shoes. “Is it that noticeable?”  
“Yeah,” Marius exaggerates. “Your answers were so vague. You talk as if you are somewhere else.”  
“Do you even know how the movie ended?” Kento asks me.  
“No,” I admit and feel guilty about having lied to them.  
“What’s on your mind?” Kento asks.  
“I -I…” There has to be a way to explain everything to them without giving anything away. If I told them I have deeper feelings towards Shori than being just friends, then the entire chemistry of the group would fall apart.  
“You can trust us.” Marius chips in. “If you want, we won’t tell anyone.”  
“I know.” I answer him. “You see... I have feelings for this person.”  
“‘This person’?” Kento quotes me. “Are they special?”  
“Very,” I reply and continue. “I don’t think they know about my feelings even though they’re pretty obvious and I’m afraid to outright say ‘I like you’ because that could ruin the entire relationship. And I think they like someone else.”  
“You talked so fast, Sou-kun,” Marius points out. “How long have you liked her?”  
Her? I will let them think that until the time is right. “Two years.”  
Marius and Kento’s eyes widen at the fact.  
It wasn’t until two years ago I started liking Shori. I was attracted to him at our debut since he’s the center of our band and all, but I never thought anything of it until we became closer friends.  
“You’ve liked someone for two years?!” Marius exclaims and looks at Kento.  
“Yeah.” I nod like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world.  
“And you never told us?” Kento states.  
“Yeah…”  
“Who is it?” Marius asks with a little more bounce in his voice.  
Shori. “I don’t want to tell.”  
“Why?” Marius asks sadly. He’s not a fan of secrets and doesn’t like it when people lie or keep things from him.  
“Regardless of who it is,” Kento says. “You should tell them how you feel if you’ve seriously liked them for so long. Two years is a while, so perhaps they will give you a chance.”  
“I don’t know,” I say unsure.  
“Since you never tell anyone anything, then they will be moved by your confession.” Marius says bluntly and I scoff.  
“Maybe.” I rethink my decision of not confessing to Shori. He could like me too...or at least not like Miri. He’s a good guy...would he give me a chance?  
“Will you give us a clue to who it is?” Marius prods me.  
“N-no.”  
“Do we know her?” Kento asks.  
“Yes, you do know them.” I say, not giving too much away and I plan to not give out anymore hints.  
I lift my head up and scan the clearing crowd and waving to me like a lunatic is Shori. What is he doing here? Was he looking for me? He looks so happy…and Miri is beside him. Of course she is.  
My smile sinks into a deep frown. I quickly pick it up again.  
“What?” Marius notices my sudden changes in expression. Then he sees Shori waving to us and heading in our direction.  
When Shori and Miri reach us Kento says, “We just need Fuma-kun. If he turns the corner I’m going to be mind-blown.”  
“Yeah,” Shori gives a small laugh. “I’m surprised to see you all here.”  
“Ah,” Marius starts. “You’re...Miri-chan?”  
“Yes,” Miri smiles broadly, and there’s something about I just can’t quite get over, but I don’t know what it is. “We’re going to the movies together.”  
Of course, they are.  
“Nice seeing you all,” Kento breaks the conversation. “But Bonita is waiting for me.”  
Kento says goodbye to us and waves to Marius before setting off.  
“I guess we should go too.” Marius puts a hand on my shoulder and we head for the exit. “Bye, Shori-kun and Miri-chan.”  
I don’t say anything and just let Marius push me towards the exit.  
“Come on, Sou-kun,” Marius tells me. “Move.”  
I stumble towards the exit and when I turn around I see Miri jumping up and down beside Shori, but he’s looking at me. He smiles widely at me, but I only give him slightly up-turned lips in return. His eyebrows scrunch together out of confusion, but I only purse my lips and turn back around to walk faster, letting Marius’s arm drop. 

***

Shori didn’t date anyone after debut and that always reassured me in the last few years. Even when his acting role involved him being in a relationship with a girl, he never looked at her outside of his job. When he starred in HaruChika he even told me how he had told me that he had no feelings for Chika’s actress and that it’s tiring to have to fake love. He looked at Miri the same as he looked at “Chika” in the movie, so I have no idea if he faked it or if he felt anything. Either way, that look completely crushed any hope of me ever confessing to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might have found this chapter title kind of vague, but just remember it.


	4. Twin Threats

*Shori’s POV*  
It’s only one date, I tell myself over and over again. It’s only one date. If she tries anything I will easily turn her down.  
The first part of our date was at the movie theater, but the second part is dessert, for dinner. At the theatre we conveniently ran into my friends: Kento, Sou, and Marius. If only they could’ve invited us to go somewhere with them later. This might sound strange, but maybe it was… fate? That I ran into them there at the same time as my date with Miri. It was almost as if the world didn’t want us to go out and instead tried to intervene our date with my friends. Of course, what really sparked this strange yet addictive idea was Sou. He left with Marius after Kento was gone, but when he turned around, I saw something in his eyes. It was as if we talked an entire conversation with only one look. In his eyes I saw that he was… regretful to leave. There lingered a sadness that I can’t quite explain, so I’ll have to ask him about it later. I wish I could speak to him now.  
“Shori-san,” Miri says. “Come on.”  
Only now do I realize that I’ve been walking, no trudging, along, barely answering any of Miri’s questions.  
“Sorry,” I tell her and walk a little faster.  
“What are you thinking about?” She asks with an inquisitive look on her face.  
“I’m just… pondering over something.” I don’t want to give too much away, and it really is none of her business.  
“Well,” she says. “We’re here.”  
The building we stop at is a locally owned cafe. There are cute little chairs and tables outside for customers to sit at, but Miri tugs on my wrist to inside the cafe. Not a lot of people are in there; only a few elderly people and some girls sit at the corner table to the left and I hope they don’t recognize me. I don’t like having to go out in public wearing a disguise and since we were going to the movie theater, I didn’t think to bring one to the cafe. To the right is a few booths and Miri slides me into one, but there are two people seated across from us. They’re both young men, probably mid-twenties, a little older than me. Even though both are sitting, I can tell that they are both way taller than me, probably close to Fuma’s height.  
I arch my eyebrows.  
“It’s so unexpected to see you guys here!” Miri slides into the booth beside me. “I must introduce you to my… friend.”  
Yes! I’ve been friendzoned!  
“Shori-san,” Miri puts a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off. “These are my brothers. Hinto and Ri.”  
Hinto has jet black hair and is sitting across from Miri, while Ri has dark brown hair - not the shade you’d mistake for black - and is sitting across from me. Both wear scowls on their faces until Miri points to them in a way of introduction.  
“They’re twins in case you couldn’t tell,” Miri tells me.  
“He’d be stupid if he didn’t notice.” Hinto says and looks at me in the way of “checking me out”.  
“I-I did.” I stutter out the words. It’s so obvious the brothers are twins. They’re nearly identical.  
“Hinto and Ri,” Miri points to me this time. “This is Sato Shori. Shori-san.”  
“We know.” The twins both answer at the same time, which is kind of creepy. Please help me.  
That’s when I decide that I will have to let Miri down and let her know that I have no intentions of taking her out again. At the theater she kept reaching for my hand, so I kept reaching for the popcorn. It was supposed to be a subtle hint of letting her down, but then she laid a hand on my shoulder, so I shrugged it off. It’s no way to treat a lady, so I’ll have to tell Miri I’m not into her soon.  
Miri got up and got us each our own small sundae from at the counter. I thank her. It seems that the brothers hadn’t eaten anything before we got here. They scarfed down their ice cream like a pack of dogs finally being fed after four days of starvation.  
I haven’t said a thing besides when Miri introduced me to her brothers. Miri has been talking for me, answering all her brothers’ invasive questions like “How old are you?” “Do you live around here?” “Is that your natural hair color?” Surprisingly they didn’t ask anything about my career, since that’s what most people tend to ask me about in a conversation. I drift into my own mind and watch cars drive by outside the window. This reminds me a little of when I went out to lunch with Sou a few days ago, lazily watching the cars drive by, and then accidentally spilling his tea. I almost laugh out loud at my mistake, but I settle for a grin instead.  
As if on cue, my phone vibrates, alerting me that someone sent me a text. My phone is on vibrate mode since I just left the theater and hadn’t had the time to change it back to its regular ringing. The others seem lost in their conversation so I quickly slip my phone out of my pocket and see that it was Sou who has sent me a text. I open the message to see what he sent. Sou sent just a simple ‘hi’, which makes me wonder what’s wrong. He usually sends such long messages that I have to scroll down on my phone.

Sou: hi  
Shori: i’m bored  
Sou: Aren’t u on a date w/ her?  
Shori: yes T_T  
Sou doesn’t respond, or he’s still typing. It’s weird though, when he asked if I was on a date, he referred to Miri as ‘her’.  
“Who are you texting?” Ri looks at me as I look down at my lap.  
“Sorry,” I apologize. “My friend just asked me a question.”  
“Who?” Miri asked and looked at me with her doe eyes.  
“Just Sou.”  
“You’re shy aren’t you?” Ri asks me with a pointed glare, as if being shy is an insult.  
“A little,” I respond. I’m not shy with my friends, my REAL friends.  
“Tell us a little about yourself,” Hinto says. “I’m tired of hearing my little sister blab.”  
“Hey!” Miri exclaims.  
“I am a singer.” I start. “I can play the guitar and I like cars.” Saying ‘I like cars’ is a bit of an understatement.  
“You can play the guitar?” Hinto leans forward. “So can I.”  
“Oh,” I exclaim. “That’s nice.”  
“I’ll be back,” Miri stands up and beams down on us. “I’m going to the bathroom.”  
I give her a small wave and for once I’m sad that she’s gone, but only a little because she left me alone with her brothers. You don’t just leave people who just met each other alone like that.  
“Listen,” Ri commands my attention. “Our little Miri-chan likes you.”  
I nod. “Yeah.”  
“You seem pretty apathetic, but she doesn’t notice that.” Hinto tells me. “Make her happy.”  
I scoot back in my seat.  
“At least you respect her. We’d hate to have to force you.” Ri tells me. “There’s not much worse than jail, and we’ve already been there.”  
I gulp and sink down in the cushioning. “You’re asking me to fake my feelings?” I ask, unbelievable.  
“If you have to.”  
“But that’s not fair. To me or Miri-san.” I protest.  
“I don’t care.” Ri says and the twins stand up and leave the cafe.  
Miri comes out a minute later and I tell her that the twins had something to do. When we’re about part ways at the station I think of how I’m going to tell her how I really feel and I almost blurt ‘I don’t like you’, but something stops me. An image of Miri’s brothers looming over me blur my thinking and we part ways without anything real being conveyed.  
Later at night, before I go to sleep I check my text messages to see that Sou left me a long one, and I smile the entire time I read it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. First Kiss

*Sou’s POV*  
“No,” Marius pleads. “Don’t do that! You’ll be—”  
You hear a scream and the slamming of a door as the unmistakable turning on of a power saw rings out in the room.   
“And she’s toast.” Fuma shakes his head slowly and Marius regards him with a look that could kill.  
“She was my favorite character!” Marius exclaims.  
It’s movie night and it was Kento’s turn to pick. He said he wanted a horror movie that provided the suspense and romance that he’s into. I don’t really care what movie we watched, but I definitely did not want to watch a horror movie. Characters are being thrown out windows left and right. I was just waiting for Marius’s favorite to be killed next. Whenever I felt the hollow pit in my stomach began to ache and make my nerves buzz, I looked to Shori to comfort my being scared, but he fell asleep halfway through the movie. Even though I was trying not to wake him I continuously screamed and leapt a little in my seat. There were two couches in the lounge of Johnny’s that was reserved for us tonight. The first couch was completely taken up by Shori and lying below him on the floor is Kento. I was squished on the end of a couch beside Fuma with Marius on the other side of him. The couches were beside each other to form an ‘L’ around the TV.  
“Wait?” Kento sits up. He shared a favorite with Marius. “It just ends with that?”   
The credits roll on the screen announcing the ending.   
Marius sighs. “Fuma-kun, you have to take me home now.”  
Now it is Fuma’s turn to sigh. “Can I just relax for a minute?” Fuma closes his eyes.   
“I can’t keep my mom waiting!” Marius says, a little loud, making Shori turnover in his sleep.  
“Okay, okay,” Fuma stands up and says. “I forgot you’re still a little kid.”  
Marius looks at him with a ‘seriously, we’re going to go there?’ look.  
The two of them briskly leave the room.  
“I’m going to go, too,” Kento stands and turns to me before he leaves. “Wake Shori please. Unless you want to him for the maintenance crew to find.”  
“Okay,” I huff. “Bye.”  
For a long while I just look at him.   
It’s dark in the room, even the hall lights are off it’s so late, and I take in his perfect features and his pocket size. He can barely take up the entire couch by himself. He hugs a pillow to his chest as he rests and I think, how can he still be sleeping? He slept over Marius’s screaming, Kento constantly rearranging himself, Fuma loudly chewing on snacks, and not to mention the loud movie.  
I get up to gently nudge him on the shoulder, but I stop myself. Before I even know what I am doing, my lips are laying on top of his. I don’t bite, I don’t massage my lips into his, I keep perfectly still as if I’m frozen. My lips linger on his, apparently a moment too long, long enough to feel his moving under mine.  
“What the?” Shori’s eyes flutter open and I pull back immediately and instinctively rest my hands on Shori’s chest. “Why’d you—? Just get off!”  
I stand up and I run. I run quickly down the hall far enough until I am out of breath and leaning on a wall, gasping for breath. The lights in the hallway have been shut off as us five were the only ones left in the building besides the nightshift secretary on the first floor.  
“No, no, no, no,” I mutter over and over again.   
He wasn’t supposed to wake up right then. He wasn’t supposed to find out. He wasn’t supposed to know that I… that I kissed him, that I’m in love with him. ‘He doesn’t like me’ is the first thought that crosses my mind, then ‘he’s angry with me’. I just stole a kiss from him, why would he ever forgive me for that? I’ve ruined our entire friendship. He’ll never look at me the same.  
My gasps for breath quickly turn into whimpers and I fall to my knees crying. Never have I once messed up like I have now. I turn to lean against the wall that’s probably covered in several Johnny’s posters and I bury my face in my hands. At the same time, am I seriously sobbing over a crush?   
“Sou-kun? Is that you?” I hear a voice ring out in the hallway and through the darkness I can make out Shori’s short stature making its way toward me.   
“I-I’m sorry,” I tell him, as if that would be worth anything. “I’m sorry. I’m just sorry.”  
In seconds he is down in front me, cupping his hands on both of my shoulders and starts to rub me. Then he peels the hands off my face.   
“Don’t pity me.” I tell him and put my hands back on my face without looking him in the eyes. I try to stop my sobbing, but the tears won’t subside.  
“Listen,” Shori peels my hands off from my face once again, a little more forceful this time. “Listen to me.”  
Slowly my eyes meet his, not seeing anger or pity, but… understanding and regret; and the look somehow calms me down. My crying doesn’t stop completely, but it comes to only weak whimpering.  
“Get a hold of yourself.” Shori pulls me up by both of my hands. “Stand.” I obey and he surprises me.  
He takes me in his arms and I have no choice but to go along with it. I rest my head on his shoulder and try to reassure myself. He hasn’t left yet. He’s still talking to me. He’s not shunning me. He’s instead embracing me. Embracing me.  
“Why are you getting so flustered over this?” Shori asks me as if it was nothing. “So what if it’s your first kiss.”  
“I’m sorry.” I can’t think of what else to say. I can’t think at all.  
“No.” Shori firmly tells me. “Don’t tell me sorry.”  
“I stole a kiss from you.”   
“And I have an infinite amount of kisses.” Shori says and steps back far enough away from him so that he can see my face. And he kisses me.  
His lips are so soft and mine are wet from crying. His lips seem to search mine for something and I realize sooner than later that he wants me to kiss back. I do, with as much sureness and clarity and softness that he does.  
When he pulls away he says, “I should be sorry. I didn’t let you know sooner.”  
My crying has stopped completely now. I haven’t cried for years now in front of someone and it feels good. “It’s okay.”  
Shori shakes his head. “It’s not. I don’t like seeing you cry.”   
He pulls me into one last embrace before pulling away, far too quickly. “Let’s go home.”  
And so, I walk home with Shori.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've re-written this scene so many times!!!!


	6. Fumaken's Mistake

*Shori’s POV*  
I exhale deeply into my pillow before rolling over and turning off my alarm clock. Was last night for real? I think to myself. Or did I simply dream it up? Then I remember exactly how Sou’s lips felt on mine and I know that it wasn’t made up or a figment of my imagination. Feeling energized, I jump out of bed and brush my teeth before slipping on some clothes. I grab a hat and sunglasses to put on so that citizens of Japan won’t recognize me on my way to work.  
Before I leave my apartment, I dial Sou’s number. At first, all that is heard is that monotone ring, but then his voice seems to magically appear on the other end of the line.  
“Hello? Shori-kun?” Sou asks even though he probably saw my caller ID.  
“Yes. It’s me.” There is silence between us before he clears his throat.  
“Did that actually happen?” Sou asks me.  
“Well,” I breathe into the phone’s speaker. “Since I know exactly what you’re talking about, it did.”  
Sou gives a small laugh into the phone. “We, um, we need to talk. In person, not over the phone.”  
“Oh,” I say. “Yes. Do you have anything planned tomorrow?”  
“Yeah,” Sou responds. “I’m going shopping with Mari-chan.”  
“Okay, what about today after work?”  
“I can’t,” Sou replies. “My sister is taking me out someplace later on.”  
I sigh. “Do you have any open day this week?”  
“Now that I think about it…. No, I don’t.”  
“Then I guess I’ll see you at work.” I tell him.  
“Oh, Shori-kun,” Sou hesitates. “Don’t say anything to anyone else at work. Please.”  
“I won’t,” I promise him.

I enter the building through the front doors.  
“Hey, Shori-kun,” Kento comes up beside me. “We have a meeting today, right?” Kento asks me for reassurance.  
“Yes.” I reply. “At nine-thirty.”  
“That’s what I thought,” Kento replies. “Thanks.”  
Together we take the elevator up to the correct floor and walk into Sexy Zone’s office room.  
“Kento-kun!” Fuma shouts from a nearby desk. “I thought you were going to be late.”  
“You know I’m never late.” Kento sits at the desk beside him.  
I sit at the desk beside Kento’s and start scribbling in my notebook, the same one I was reluctant to show Sou and Miri. Speaking of Miri….  
“Shori-san!” She comes bouncing over to me and all of my insides sink into a deep grimace. I definitely can’t be seeing her now.  
“Oh, hello, Miri-san.” I tell her and Kento and Fuma give me a knowing look. Unfortunately, they don’t know I’m not in love with Miri; because if they did, they could help get her away from me.  
Good thing Sou just walked in.  
“I’ve got to go.” I say when I see Sou frown at me. “Excuse me.” I stand and move around her to go.  
“Hi, I’m—” Sou starts to say, but I drag him out of the room behind me and into the nearest janitor’s closet so we can have some privacy.  
“It’s dark in here.” Sou exclaims and when he bumps into me he squeals. “I thought you were in front of me!”  
I had moved beside him, but only to turn on the light. I flip the switch and lock the door behind us.  
Our wall of laughter fades and it suddenly becomes tense in the small space. You could almost cut the awkwardness with a knife.  
“You, uh, like me?” I finally ask since Sou was obviously waiting on me to say something.  
“Yeah.” He meekly responds. “Do you like me?” Sou asks.  
“Yes.” I respond and again we return to awkward silence.  
“So are we dating or what?” Sou finally blurts which suggests that the silence was too much for him.  
“I… think? Do you want to?”  
“Of course, I want to see you often.” Sou shyly looks away. “I’ve wanted to for a while now.”  
“I want to date you, too.” I firmly say.  
“I don’t mean to sound rude,” Sou begins, “but I don’t want to tell anyone yet.”  
“Yet?” I ask.  
“Yet. When I’m ready I will, but for now, I think us being together could ruin the chemistry of the group. And the fans would go crazy.”  
“Ah, yes, the fans. They like it when their favorite Johnny’s idol is open.” I say, agreeing with him. “Yeah, it’s probably best we don’t tell anyone. For now.”  
“May I ask,” Sou starts - why is this boy so polite? - “what’s going on between you and Miri?”  
I swipe both of my hands in front of me simultaneously. “Nothing! I swear, I don’t like her like that.”  
“But does she know that?” Sou asks giving me a look of ‘tell her you’re mine, but leave out the whole being mine part’.  
“N-no.” I admit. “I try to not lead her on, but she just won’t stop.”  
“You said ‘yes’ to her offer of going on a date, you talk to her on a daily basis, you—”  
“Okay, okay, I know how it sounds.” I sigh and run my hands through my hair. “She’s just so… expectant. I don’t know how to let her down.”  
“I understand.” Sou says, but he looks kind of sad now.  
“I’ll tell her I don’t have feelings for her the next time I can.” I tell him and he perks up a bit and I look into his eyes.  
He has such nice eyes. Even though his body is calm, his eyes are a whirlpool of emotion. I pull him into an embrace.  
“Shori-kun… “ Sou’s voice trails off and he wraps his arms around me.  
I pull back, but Sou’s arms stay wrapped around my waist as he seems reluctant to move. I settle my hands on his shoulders and lean in to kiss him, but he pulls away. Why did he pull away?  
“Kissing is weird.” Sou says through a laugh.  
“What?” I laugh sheepishly.  
“Kissing feels weird.” Sou says as he smiles at his own awkwardness.  
“Does it not feel right?” I wonder.  
“Oh, no, no, it feels right.” Sou establishes. “It just makes me want to smile. It’s weird.”  
I lean in to kiss him again, but he leans away and I end up chasing him in a small circle. We’re bound to knock something over and we do. Sou runs into a shelf stacked high with paper towel. About twenty rolls rain down on him and we burst into a fit of laughter. Quickly, we pick up the paper towels and put them back on their shelf. When we step out of the closet, no one is in the hallway as work is taking place. We stride back into our office where Marius, Kento, and Fuma are waiting on us for our meeting. All five of us walk into a meeting room where we won’t be disrupted. There is a long table with six seats, three on each side. I sit beside Kento while Sou sits across from me, on one side of Marius, Fuma on the other.  
“Where were you guys?” Marius asks with a confused look on his face.  
“We were discussing some things.” I reply, even though the young boy was facing Sou.  
“Like what? We’re going to discuss some things now.” Marius continues to ask.  
“Like girl things.” Fuma says and realizes what he just said after Marius makes a weird face. “Not those kinds of girl things, Marius, don’t get ahead of yourself there. I mean, they were talking about a girl.”  
“We were?” Sou asks and I give him a ‘sh!’ look. “I mean, oh, that’s right.”  
“You were talking about Miri-san, right?” Kento asks us.  
“A little.” I confess, just not in the way they probably thought.  
“Ah? So you do like, Miri-san?” Fuma says. “I knew it.”  
“What?” I blurt. “No, I don’t. She is merely a friend.”  
Fuma and Kento look at each other across the table.  
“What?” I demand. “What did you do?”  
“We told her you liked her.” Kento turns to me.  
“You did what?!” I exclaim and abruptly lean forward in my seat. “Why would you do that?”  
Fuma says, “Well, we said that you probably like her.”  
“I don’t!” I tell them honestly. “Not even remotely!”  
“Oh no.” Kento says.  
“Why would you do that?” I ask.  
“You’ve been acting strange lately,” Kento says. “We thought it was because of her and then we ran into each other on your date.”  
“Not my date, her date.” I correct them.  
“Just tell her you don’t like her.” Marius says.  
“It’s not exactly that easy,” Kento says hesitantly. “On any other girl that would work, but I’m not so sure about this one.”  
“On any other girl?” Fuma scoffs. “Any girl would probably cry.”  
“Wait, what do you mean ‘any other girl’?” Marius asks which is good because I want to know as well.  
“You haven’t heard?” Kento says. “She used to date one of the juniors when her mom first started work here. He broke up with her and a few days later he couldn’t perform at Shokura because his arm was broken. He said he fell down the stairs, but there was a rumor going around for a long while that it had something to do Miri-san.”  
I suck in a breath of air and look to Sou who stares back at me with raised eyebrows.  
“This is irrelevant.” I say angrily. “Let’s get back to work.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun writing this one. I'm thinking that about ten chapters will some this story up nicely.


	7. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any Sexy Zone fan should know that Sou has an undying love for... Shori, just kidding, capybaras.

*Sou’s POV*  
I glance down at my watch as Shori comes jogging towards me in a jacket, jeans, and sunglasses and a hat, to hide his identity from fans. I’m wearing a cap, but no sunglasses. It’s exactly ten o’clock in the morning, and my date is right on time.  
“Hey,” Shori is beside me in seconds. “Let’s go.”  
“Where are you taking me?” I ask. Shori had told me to meet him outside Shibuya Station today for our first date, which is late since we’ve been together for a week and a half. Our schedule has just been so busy, we couldn’t meet or do anything. It’s already autumn.  
“Come on,” Shori tells me and ushers me to the front gates of a zoo. I forgot there was a zoo about a block from Shibuya station.   
“The zoo?” I ask, a little confused.  
“Oh,” Shori turns to me. “Right. You’re not supposed to see.” Shori dips my own hat down over my eyes, obscuring most of what is in front of me.   
I hear Shori tell the man at the front gates, “Two tickets please,” and he ushers me inside.   
“Where are you taking me? I know we’re at the zoo.”  
“Shh. Just accept this surprise.” Shori says and tugs my hat even lower. He steers me around the pavement past several exhibits and stands. The only thing I can see is people’s feet as they walk by me. “Now, you may look.” Shori pulls my hat above my eyes, his hand lingering in my hair before he steps out of the way to let me see.  
Before me is a beautiful creature that cannot be mistaken as anything else but a capybara! With it’s unique brown coat and hulking body, I would be able to tell one from a mile away.   
I gasp. “Capybaras!” I run over to the enclosure and lean over the fence. Ignoring the sign beside me that says “Please Don’t Touch the Animals”, I rub the back of a capybara sunbathing on a rock right beside the fence I’m leaning over.  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sou,” Shori says, and I freeze. Not because the capybara is mesmerizing—which it totally is—but because Shori didn’t use an honorific on my name. Shori is usually pretty uptight about that kind of thing. Being as all five of us are in a band, Sexy Zone got used to occasionally not using an honorific since we’re all close friends, but I know that Shori means it to be something else.  
Breaking the rules and ignoring Shori, I pet the capybara anyway and it lifts its head to acknowledge me.   
“Shori.” I try calling him without an honorific and with my free hand, I pull by the arm to the edge of the enclosure beside me. I place his hand on the back of the capybara.  
“Sou, we shouldn’t be doing this.” Shori pulls his hand back, but not before a park ranger calls out to us.  
“Hey! You kids!” The park ranger makes his approach toward us, but I don’t stop petting the capybara until Shori removes my hand as the park ranger is beside us. “You can’t touch the animals.” He points to the sign I had dismissed earlier.  
“We’re sorry.” Shori says.  
As the park ranger walks away, both of us start snickering and Shori has to pull me away from the enclosure as I am about to stick my hand in it again. I just can’t resist the temptation.   
“Sou,” Shori begins between laughs. “I told you not to do that.”  
“Sorry, I had to.”  
We stop at an ice cream stand and we both buy an ice cream cone. I buy chocolate and Shori gets vanilla. Shori gestures for me to sit beside him at on the park bench. He tucks his sunglasses into his shirt.  
“You sure that’s safe?” I ask him. I’ve run into fans on several occasions even when I was wearing a disguise.  
“It’ll be fine.” Shori says. “The only people here are parents and kids. Even if someone does recognize us, it won’t be that bad.”  
“Okay,” I say a little hesitantly and eat my ice cream. “Hey, have you… spoken to Miri?”  
“Yeah.”   
“What’d she say?” I ask.  
“She took the news surprisingly well.” Shori tells me and I feel relieved. She’ll finally leave him alone. “She didn’t cry or anything. She just looked me in the eye and said she hated me.”  
“Really?” I lean forward and almost get ice cream all over my jacket.  
“Yeah.” Shori takes a big bite before continuing and I wonder how he doesn’t have brain freeze. “She just kind of stormed out of the room, saying something about how I lead her on and shouldn’t have done that.”  
“You did kind of lead her on…” I state.  
“I didn’t mean to,” Shori says in his defense. “I kind of pitied her.”  
I scoff and continue eating.   
“Sou…” Shori picks up a napkin just as I finish. “You’ve got a little…” He gestures to his lips.  
“You want me to kiss you?” I ask, knowing well that’s not what I mean.  
“Not like that.”  
I gratefully take the napkin from him and clean my face. He helps me stand, even though I didn’t need his hand, and he shows me the way to the next exhibit.

We’re walking hand in hand to the train station. Unfortunately, Shori and I have to part ways here as our homes are in two different directions. I have to get on a train and Shori has to keep walking.   
“Shori,” I say before entering the train station. “Thank you.”  
“For what?” He looks at me quizzically.  
“For taking me to see the capybaras.” I say as if it is very obvious.  
“Oh, no problem.”  
We’re standing toe to toe, so when he closes his eyes, I know he’s about to kiss me. Just to tease him, I duck away behind him.  
“Hey, Sou!” He spins around and tries to grab me in his arms, but I duck again and he’s forced to spin around. “Let me kiss you.”  
“What if someone sees?” I say in a mock tone.  
“It’s dark.” Shori says while he tries to hold me in place, but I wriggle out of his grip. It is dark, as it is almost eight at night. We’ve been at the zoo all day.   
“Well, it’s late, I need to get home.”  
“Then stop making this take longer than it has too.” Shori says as he finally stills me. “Do I have to remind you that YOU kissed ME first?”   
I can’t argue with that. To be honest, I kind of enjoy teasing Shori, but kissing does feel weird. I wasn’t lying when I said that.  
When I don’t answer him, he rolls his eyes, pulls me closer, and kisses me. I slide my arms around his shoulders and kiss him back, but he hesitates as he wasn’t expecting it so I take advantage of that to lead and kiss him even harder.  
I slowly pull away after a minute, but only because I was afraid someone who knew us would see. He stares into my eyes.  
“Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” Shori tells me, still holding me in his arms. “Good night, Sou.” He kisses my forehead before letting me go.   
“Good night, Shori.” I tell him before he starts walking away. “Love you.” The words were barely a whisper and I don’t think Shori hears them, but he turns his head and whispers, “Love you, too.”

I board my train and sit in silence replaying that moment and those words over and over in my head. Love you, too. Love you, too. He told me he loves me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do research on capybaras, but to be honest I had no idea what they were until Sou repeatedly mentioned them in several interviews.
> 
> No, I don't think there is a zoo outside Shibuya Station. I made that up.


	8. A Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been about two weeks since the last chapter. Sorry if anyone was waiting and actually likes reading this.

*Shori's POV*  
I grip Sou's hand a little tighter as we walk down the cobblestone path in the park. How is it possible this boy, just one boy, can make me feel this way? This indescribable joy that makes my insides flutter up and down. I should write a haiku about this feeling. This is our second date, even if it is only a walk through a detour on our way home from work.  
"Shori," Sou starts. "Do you have any hidden secrets I should know about?"  
I laugh. "Not really." Not really. That seems like a pretty good answer since I can feel the weight of my red notebook in the book bag on my back.  
"Not really?" Sou asks, picking up on my half-answer.  
"What about you, Sou?" I turn the conversation around to face the other boy.  
"Only horrible memories of embarrassing things I've done."  
"Oh," I exclaim. "I've never done anything embarrassing."  
"Really?" Sou asks with disbelief. "What about that time in 2014, after our concert at Shokura when you- "  
"No, no, no!" I place a hand over Sou's mouth. "We must never speak of that again."  
"But it was funny how you- "  
"No!" I clamp my hand down harder and hold Sou till. After moments of silence, he licks my hand and I pull back immediately.  
"Fine." Sou relents and grabs my hand again. "I won't speak of it."  
We leave our talk behind us and just walk in silence, well, as quiet as you can get in the outdoors not too far from the city. The leaves around us have long lost their vibrant green color and blossoms; which have been replaced by shades of orange and yellow. We're walking in the middle of fall.  
Unfortunately, the two of us take a turn out of our detour and head to my apartment. Sou is dropping me off at my place since he wants to get a better map of Tokyo. He still occasionally gets lost in the city even though he's been working here for years. He claims that it's much harder to navigate than Shizuoka Prefecture. We reach the front entrance of my apartment. No one else is around, as this is a rather quiet part of Tokyo that is right outside downtown and near an old warehouse that hasn't been used for a decade.  
"I'll see you later." Sou says, and I just can't help myself. I grab onto his shoulders, close my eyes, and lean in to kiss him, but I never feel soft skin under my lips.  
I pull back to see him smirking at me. That boy. I fake spit since he turned his head at the last minute and left me to kiss the side of his head, some of his hair in my mouth. Even though I sometimes can't take it, I've got to like that Sou doesn't just give me his kiss. I probably wouldn't want it as much as I do now if he kissed me everyday. I'm always overflowing with joy when we see each other backstage or in the office and he embraces me, actually letting me kiss him, when we're alone. He's warmed up to kissing more often than in the beginning of our relationship.  
"Just kidding." Sou leans to the side to kiss my cheek, and I let him, but as he pulls away, I abruptly turn and slam my mouth against his. I can tell he's surprised.  
When I finally pull back, we're both panting and I manage a whispered, "Good night, Sou."  
He nods and I get a good look at his bright red cheeks before I gently shut my front door.  
I really wanted to invite him in, but it's late and he needs to get home.

About an hour after Sou leaves, I step outside to go on a walk. Walking calms my nerves and a sense of unease has been shooting through me ever since my boyfriend left. As I begin to walk on the sidewalk, I call Sou.  
"Hello?"  
"Hey, did you make it home okay?" I ask him.  
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replies.  
"That's good." I breathe a sigh of relief, but I still can't shake off the horrible feeling I'm having.  
"Umhm. Hey, I was wondering what- "  
"Oh no." I mumble.  
"What?" Sou asks.  
Striding toward me is Miri and her brothers. I ask myself, how do they know where I live?  
"Shori." Sou tries to get my attention, but I tell him to wait a minute.  
"Oh, hello, Miri-san," I start. "And Hinto-san and Ri-san."  
"Hey." She says so coldly I have to wonder if I hadn't just walked into a freezer. "In case you're not aware, Shori, I'm a little mad at you. 'A little' is an understatement."  
"Sorry, one second. I'm on the phone." I gesture to my phone. A small flame of anger and annoyance is sparked when I see her.  
As she moves forward to the point where she is less than a meter away from me, I take a step back. She stops.  
"At first when you said you didn't like me," She's going to lecture me? "I thought you were kidding, but then I realized that you weren't. And you know what? I was so sure - so sure! - that you liked me. Your friends even confirmed it, but then what they said got me thinking." So basically this entire conversation is Kento and Fuma's fault? "They said you've been a little off, that you might be in love, so I thought, who could Shori be in love with? The other girls I saw you with you gave little to no attention to whatsoever, so I decided to follow you one day. It was a rest day and I swear that I was just going to knock on your door and ask you who it was when I saw you walking away, so I followed you. I saw you go to Shibuya station and then the zoo, and I saw you kiss Sou. Sou. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? You're gay?"  
"Yes," I mutter, but then anger replaces hard cold shock. "You followed me? You know where I live? That's stalking! Stay away from me."  
"Shori, what's going on?" I hear Sou's voice on the other end of the phone, but I don't answer.  
"My mom has access to records at Johnny's." She states flatly, which actually explains a lot. "I am so mad right now."  
"You mean jealous?" I shoot back.  
"No, mad. You played me, Shori." I know when she doesn't use an honorific on my name it's meant to be rude. "You made me think that you liked me. You played a girl you barely knew and now that I think about it, you still barely know."  
She's talking to me, but I'm paying more attention to the men behind her. Hinto and Ri are way bigger than me, by at least a foot, and they don't seem too happy at their little sister's distress.  
"I didn't mean to upset you." I tell her. "I thought you just wanted to be friends, so I was nice, I didn't know you took my gestures for something more. I'm sorry."  
"Sorry? Sorry?" Miri repeats.  
"You know, you have an odd habit of repeating things."  
"That's it!" Miri shouts and I look around to see no one in sight, only the red-faced girl and her giant bodyguards. "Hinto! Ri!"  
They lunge for me, so I turn around and bolt. In the process of narrowly escaping being tackled, I drop my phone, but that's not what I'm thinking about as I run as fast as I can from them. I did track in high school and I'm still in good shape, so I can hope to outrun the brothers behind me.


	9. The Brother That's Not Ri

*Sou's POV*  
"Shori?" I ask with urgency in my voice. "Shori, are you all right?"  
"Hey, Sou," Miri's voice answers me instead of Shori's. "Shori is a little busy. He'll have to call you later."  
"What did you do?" I shout through the phone.  
"Shori is getting what he deserves. For me, I'm going to go watch." Miri sounds both mad and jubilant at the same time, which is an odd combination, even for her.  
The phone call clicks off.  
That Miri girl. I throw on a jacket and run out my front door. I'm panting by the time I finally reach the train station that'll take me to both downtown Tokyo and Shori.  
After fifteen minutes - fifteen minutes wasted - the train stops and lets me off. I run all the way to his apartment and knock on his door. Silence. Of course he doesn't answer, he's not there. I try calling his cell phone.  
I hear it ringing. Down the sidewalk. I walk a few meters to the right to find his cell phone on the sidewalk and my contact is glowing on the screen. I pick it up and put both of our phones in my back pockets. While running in the direction I found the phone I end up on an entirely different street that borders the empty warehouse near Shori's apartment complex. The pit in my stomach seems to be sinking deeper as there's not a sign of my boyfriend anywhere. I'm going to have to kill Miri.  
"Let me go!" The familiar voice rings out into the cool night air. "I'll call the cops on you!" Shori.  
The pit in my stomach only deepens as I run to where I heard the shouts in the parking lot of the rundown warehouse. When I near about only thirteen meters away the noise, I see them. Miri is standing at about a meter's distance away from Shori who is being held in place by a young man - who is very wide and tall, but not overweight. There's another young man who is about the same height and size as the first one, but instead of having dark brown hair, he has black. These must be the brothers Shori told me about not too long ago.  
The one not holding Shori punches him in uppercut style. How dare he. I race toward them already knowing full well that they plan to hurt him. They're crazy.  
"Stop!" I shout, but the one brother barely looks in my direction before kicking Shori twice. To Shori's credit, he doesn't scream out, only barely wince.  
When I'm within range, the brother striking turns toward me and pushes me away. "Ri-kun, look, it's Miri's rival." Rival? What is he talking about? They can't possibly know.  
"Yeah," Miri speaks up. "We know, Sou. We know all about your and Shori's little rendezvous."  
I swallow thickly. "Who cares? It's none of your business. Let him go."  
"Aw," the brother - Ri apparently - fake coos. "He's standing up for him."  
"Well did you think I was just going to let you hit him?" I take a protective step forward, but the Brother That's Not Ri laughs when he pushes me and I fall back the step I just took. I look at Shori to see his lip bleeding and his eyes pleading me to do something. Without thinking, I strike the Brother That's Not Ri in the face and kick him in the shin before running toward Shori and try to free him. Surprisingly, Ri throws him to the ground and comes at me. Unfortunately for him, I use his momentum against him and throw him over his shoulder. He should know that I'm a black belt in karate. But that would be too easy. The Brother That's Not Ri runs toward Shori, but I meet him on the way there and we exchange our fair shares of hits and kicks. He hits me in the back of the head as I spin around and I fall to the ground. His brother joins him and they pick me up by my arms. I'm far shorter than them so my legs are running, but the rest of my body is struggling to follow. I look to Shori who has stood up by now, but he looks more shocked and dumbstruck than Miri. I don't think he'll be able to do anything, but that's my mistake. Shori runs toward us, but he doesn't tackle either of the brothers. He tackles me.  
We land with a grunt and seizing the moment of surprise of the brothers we run. We run as fast as we can, even though Shori limps and I'm just kind of slow.  
"Cowards!" The Brother That's Not Ri shouts at us, but he doesn't make a move to follow. As far as I'm concerned, I was pretty brave. But that's just my opinion.  
We don't dare stop running at Shori's apartment. Instead, we board the last train away from the direction of Shori's apartment.  
"I'm taking you home with me." I tell Shori as we find a seat together on the train. Whether he likes it or not, he's staying over at my apartment tonight.

We didn't talk at all on the way to my place. We both just sat in silence stealing glances at one another when we thought that the other person wasn't looking. When we walk through the front door I left open in my hurry to get to Shori, he collapses on my couch. It's unsaid, but pretty obvious that we're just going to fall asleep in a few minutes.  
Before Shori can fall asleep, I kneel beside the couch and ask, "Are you hurt?"  
"Nothing that won't heal within a few days. The brothers are weaker than they appear." Shori gives a small smile and closes his eyes. "You?"  
"I'll be fine." I kiss him gently on the lips just like I did that movie night, but this time I feel him kiss gently back. I head into my bedroom to quickly fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this just got a little violent.... The next chapter will be the last.


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this "book". I hope you've enjoyed!!

*Shori's POV*  
Sunshine filters through the windows in the Johnny's hallway making his hair appear brown instead of his usual jet black. I get up from where I was leaning on the poster covered wall and flip my notebook shut and slip it into my bag.  
"Hey," I say and swing my bag onto my back.  
"Hey," Sou says.  
Despite the number of people in the hallway I reach for his hand and hold it tightly as we walk to our next meeting. It doesn't matter how many people see, anyone can hold hands, right? Somehow, after months of dating - in secret of course - he still gives me that rush whenever there's even the smallest amount of contact. Miri and her brothers seem to have given up on trying to get 'revenge' and they haven't said anything, so our secret is safe for now.  
"Are you ever going to tell me what's in that notebook?" Sou asks and nudges my bag with his elbow.  
"Uh..." I can feel my face heating up. "I mean...maybe."  
"It's okay," Sou raises both of his hands - bringing mine with his - in false surrender. "You don't have to."  
I don't have to, but I think I might....  
"Come here." I pull him to an empty hall corner not too far from where our next meeting is supposed to be in five minutes. I take out my red notebook. I swallow really hard and try to ignore the burning in my cheeks and I hold the notebook out.  
Sou looks hesitant, but he takes it from my outstretched hand. "You sure?"  
I nod.  
He opens to the first page and just to spite me, he starts reading out loud, even though I've reread what I've wrote at least a dozen times.  
"June 2, 2015," Sou nods. "Is this your diary?" He rubs the worn out and cracked cover.  
"Kind of."  
"I probably shouldn't write such sensitive things down, but I have to get this out somehow." Sou continues reading. "I can't explain what this feeling is, or why I've been feeling it for the past few weeks whenever I'm around Matsushima-kun. Right now I'm watching him mess around with Marius. Oh, look, they knocked over and spilled Fuma-kun's hairspray again. Marius has a special talent for that. I'm almost jealous that he gets to spend so much time with Matsushima-kun...." His voice dissolves into a mumble to where I can't make out any of the words. He flips to the next page and then the next and the next, only stopping to read the phrases that stick out to him.  
Then he turns the notebook to face me and flips through the pages as if we were supposed to be watching one of those drawn cartoons where a little piece of the story is added each time. But in my notebook, the same little picture was drawn in the corner of every single page. That was what Sou was showing me. There was a heart in the corner and in the center of it was Shori and Sou written in pen, on EVERY SINGLE page.  
"How long have you had this notebook?" Sou finally asks me.  
"You saw the first date." I reply nervously. What if he thinks I'm weird?  
But then he smiles. "How did I never know? All that time I thought the whole relationship thing was one-sided."  
All of the sudden, Marius pops up beside Sou. "Lucky."  
Sou jumps up and nearly lands on me, which isn't a bad thing.  
"W-what do you mean?" Sou asks.  
"Shori-kun never lets me read his notebook." Marius pouts. "I've asked at least three times." He seems to consider something for a moment before turning to me and asking, "Can I read it?"  
"No." I say flatly.  
He sighs. "That's what I expected."  
"Come on, guys, let's go." Fuma yells from down the hall and gestures for all of us to go into the meeting room.  
The three of us follow and walk into the room with the long white table and gray chairs. Sou and I exchange a knowing look. We'll have to tell them sometime, his look seems to convey, and I nod. It just won't be today.  
I turn and mouth to him, "I love you."  
And he winks at me before Kento says, "Let's get started."


End file.
